The Perfect Storm

I was born into fear.  Dad was a violent bully and alcoholic and mom was a victim. When I would escape the house I was tormented in my small town for being different.  I knew I was gay at about age five.  Hair Salon Barbie was so much more fun than Tonka trucks and GI Joe ... well, maybe not GI Joe.  I started getting drunk daily on my Dad's gin stash at age eight and discovered pot by age nine, all to drown out the fear of more beatings, molestation, incest, bullying and suicidal attempts, all of which were a "normal" part of my life.  Between a long line of family history of addiction and all of the childhood trauma and the torturous anti-gay bullying, this recipe became the perfect storm for my self-victimization.  From my teens to 40 years old I was immensely self-destructive and perpetually suicidal -- most of those years are a blur.  On August 24, 2010 God put me in AA which deprogrammed and reprogrammed my mind/heart/spirit.  Today I am not a victim -- I am a victor!  My purpose now is to help others thrive! 

Mark Beckwith
Recovery Date:  August 24, 2010
Simsbury, CT

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