I was 15 the first time I went through treatment. I had no idea what was going on and wasn’t ready to listen. I knew it all, and no one could tell me different. Drugs and alcohol were the only things that I thought made me happy. I was having fun. When I was 17, I came back to treatment beat up and ready to listen. I wasn’t having fun anymore. I was young and not sure if I was going to be able to stop drinking and drugging.
I struggled, trying to decide if recovery is really what I wanted or if I wanted to continue to use. I was in treatment during the holidays and came up with an analogy that worked for me. I thought back to when I was a little girl and couldn’t wait to open up my Christmas presents to see what kind of toys I was getting. But when I opened the gifts and all I received were sweaters and other winter clothes, I was upset. It wasn’t until it got cold that I was grateful for the clothes that I got and happy that I didn’t throw them away. That is how I looked at my recovery. I wasn’t very happy to have it at the age of 17, but I thought that maybe there would be a time when I would be grateful to have it and would regret it if I threw it away.
Today, I am grateful that I stayed sober. It’s not always easy, but it is much better then when getting high was the only thing that was on my mind.
- Kat, 21